🌴Uprooted & Replanted: The Soil That Grew Love Before ALL
“The story of why I stopped trying to bloom in toxic soil, and decided to plant a new seed.”
There was a time in my career when I said yes to everything; partly because I wanted to “help” and partly because I thought I could buy approval and appreciation.
I was working within traditional, patriarchal structures, places where the priority was acquiring funding, crafting perfect strategic plans, and curating the perfect reputation. The emphasis on relational safety was left to the employees to figure out. I was doing everything right by the workplace standards and internally after I felt entirely uprooted.
I kept asking myself: Why do I feel unfulfilled here? What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was trying to grow in a monoculture that valued status quo and control over connection. The small ways I attempted to influence change failed to change my very real nor my somatic experience. In nature, a monoculture is an environment where only one type of crop is planted over and over again. It might look organized on the surface, but beneath the ground, it rapidly strips the soil of all its nutrients. Eventually, the soil dies, and nothing can grow.
🌍The Earth’s Blueprint
Nature abhors a monoculture. The Earth thrives on biodiversity. It requires different root systems, different fungi, and different plants interacting to keep the soil rich and alive.
I realize now that what I was witnessing was human monocultures. I saw systems that demanded everyone look, sound, and produce in the way that was requested without deviation. It slowly stripped the nutrients (my joy, my creativity, and my humanity) right out of me. It was a perfect example of the patriarchal need to control in the Love Before ALL post naming our enemy last month.
🧠The Brain Science
Just as a monoculture strips the soil of its nutrients, a culture of forced conformity depletes the human brain. When a workplace demands that everyone think, speak, and operate in the exact same way, it creates a subtle but constant state of threat. The brain’s amygdala fires, scanning for the danger of "not fitting in." This chronic low-grade stress diverts blood flow away from the prefrontal cortex (the area of the brain responsible for complex problem-solving, empathy, and innovation). You cannot force a brain into conformity and expect it to produce innovation; biology simply does not support it.
🎯What LBA Elevates
I realized I could not simply force myself to bloom in toxic soil. So, I decided to plant a new seed. Without a plan for the future, I filed the paperwork to launch Love Before ALL (LBA) on February 20, 2020.
LBA was born from the deeply personal realization that love and compassion cannot be treated as soft, after-hours sentiments. They have to be the actual soil we plant our organizations in. If the soil is toxic, the strategic plan does not matter. The team will fracture. Thus the dream is to elevate individual relational skills, build resiliency, and lead with love and compassion. And at the core of this is an ambitious vision for all children to be in nurturing relationships with skillfully regulated adults.
⭐Leadership Practice: The Soil Check
As we step into Earth Month, I want you to look at the ground you are standing on.
Audit your environment: Are you planted in a space that honors your diverse roots, or are you in a monoculture that demands you shrink to fit in?
Audit your leadership: If you lead a team, look at the "soil" of your culture. Is there enough psychological safety for diverse ideas to actually take root, or are you just demanding compliance?
🌸The Invitation
You are not failing if you cannot bloom in an environment designed to extract from you. Sometimes, the most powerful leadership decision you can make is to uproot yourself, find richer soil, and plant something new.
With deep roots,