🎁 Presence as the Present
Anchoring the Holidays in an Open Heart
The holidays are an invitation to practice "Love Before All" in its most active form: radical hospitality. This season, we strip away the stress of the "perfect" celebration to reveal what truly matters; we choose connection over decoration and an open heart over obligation.
We often approach the holidays with a vision of perfection: the perfectly set table, the perfectly wrapped gift, the perfectly harmonious gathering. Beneath the festive lights, this pursuit of perfection often breeds stress, turning celebration into a checklist of obligations.
At Love Before ALL (LBA), we believe the true spirit of the season is not found in presentation, but in presence. It is found in radical hospitality, the practice of opening our doors and our hearts to family, strangers, and even ourselves. By placing “love before all”, we choose warmth over worry. We ensure that every gathering is not a performance, but a testament to the love we share and the welcome we offer.
🧠 The Brain Science of Hospitality
Why does the pressure to be "perfect" feel so isolating? The answer lies in how our brains process social safety.
When we obsess over perfection or act out of rigid obligation, the brain shifts into a performative state, often triggering the amygdala (our threat detection center). This raises cortisol levels, which inhibits our ability to truly connect or feel joy. We may be physically present at the party, but neurologically, we are in survival mode.
In contrast, practicing radical hospitality, creating an environment of warmth and acceptance, activates the social engagement system. When we feel welcomed and safe, the brain releases oxytocin, the "bonding hormone" that lowers stress and fosters trust. True hospitality signals to the nervous system: You belong here. You are safe here. This shift from perfection (performance) to presence (connection) is what allows us to actually feel the joy we are trying to create.
💛 What LBA Elevates
When we apply Love Before All to the holidays, we shift our focus from the external to the relational.
From Perfection to Connection: We release the need for flawless execution and prioritize the messy, beautiful reality of being together. We choose connection over decoration.
From Obligation to Empathy: We move away from doing things because we "have to," and toward actions rooted in a genuine desire to care for others.
From Exclusion to Welcome: We practice an "Open Door, Open Heart" policy, extending warmth not only to our inner circle, but to those who may feel on the margins during this season.
🌿 Leadership Practice: "The Hospitable Leader"
In the workplace, the end of the year often brings a rush of deadlines and "forced fun." Leaders can inadvertently increase stress by demanding festive performance.
Instead, practice being a Hospitable Leader:
Prioritize People Over Process: In year-end meetings, spend as much time celebrating the people as you do reviewing the results.
Create Psychological Safety: Explicitly give your team permission to disconnect and rest during the holidays. An open heart requires a rested mind.
Model Authentic Presence: Show up to gatherings without your "armor." When leaders drop the mask of perfection, it invites the team to do the same, deepening belonging.
✨ Practices to Support Integration
To anchor yourself in presence and hospitality this season, try these three practices:
The "Good Enough" Breath: When you feel the tightening of stress or the urge to perfect a detail, pause. Take a deep breath and repeat: This is good enough because the love here is real. Release the rest.
The Open Chair Ritual: Whether literally or metaphorically, keep an "open chair" at your table. Let it remind you to hold space for the unexpected guest, the estranged family member, or the part of yourself you’ve been neglecting. This is the heart of radical hospitality.
Presence Over Presents: Commit to giving the gift of your full attention. As we explored in What Love Sounds Like (Oct 2025), deep listening is one of the purest expressions of love. Put the phone away, look into eyes, and offer the gift of being fully there.
🌸 The Invitation
This holiday season, let the lights be a little less perfectly strung if it means your spirit is lighter. Let the menu be simpler if it means your welcome is warmer.
We invite you to open your door, but more importantly, to open your heart. To choose the warmth of welcome over the chill of perfection.
Let us make this season a practice of love in its most active form. Let us be the sanctuary we wish to find.
With warmth and welcome,
